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Sneak Attack


A few weeks ago, as much as I insisted that I wasn’t going to stress over an upcoming event, it was still on my mind. Not in the same way, but rather in a let’s just rip this band aid and see how God will show up in this situation. For me, that mind shift alone was already a WIN, but since I still overthink EVERYTHING, I played it out a thousand times in my mind.

On that morning, I prayed, “God, let the fruits of your spirit show up in me today.” I also declared out loud that I would NOT be tricked by the enemy to act outside of my character, no matter what the situation warranted.


It turned out to be such a great day and the things that I had concerned myself with on this matter in an instant were gone. A level of kindness and grace came out of me that was surprising even to myself. Further, things that may have baited me in times past, did not have any effect on me! I was so happy, but more so it showed me AGAIN what happens when I truly give my cares to God. While I won’t share the circumstance, those who know me well know it was not an easy thing to do and based on the outcome, it was ALL GOD 😊


Nonetheless, I left that event confident I had dodged the bullet. Then the next morning, something happened with one of my children that threatened to send me back to that old, reactive Kim. I am grateful that quiet time, lots of prayer and a long drive allowed me to process the situation and my feelings about it in time to recognize that, that was indeed one of the enemy’s tricks. Ah Ha! Not today Satan… so I let it go!


Wow, I’m really growing, I assured myself. Then the next day as I was preparing for the work week and sharing my testimony with close friends, I began to feel agitated. I must be tired from the long weekend. By the next morning, “Uh oh, my throat is scratchy…” I gargled, popped some Tylenol, and went on with my day. By the end of the day, serious fatigue set in. “I’ll just shut it down early and I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning.” By the middle of the night, a migraine, fever, aches, and cough had developed. Yep, after 2.5 years of dodging the COVID bullet, Rona got me. Ugh…


This was the first time I’ve been sick since I’ve lived completely alone. Just me and the pup, who laid by my side for the past 5 days. Bam, I didn’t have time to think about a plan to take care of myself, but before I knew it, family, friends, and neighbors were leaving food at the door and letting themselves in to walk the dog for me. I am so grateful for them all and it taught me that I don’t always have to be the doer and giver. It is available for me too!


My boss and co-workers checked on me regularly and never made me feel pressured to return to work before I was ready. I didn’t worry about meals or medicine being readily available and Jaxon never harassed me to play with him or walk.


I realized that it may have been the first time ever that I had nothing to do or think about other than getting well. As I lay in my bed day after day, I questioned if there was something I should be doing. Nope, just lay your butt down and do nothing! So, nothing I did… and day by day I improved at an exponential rate.


On the third day, I woke up to notice Jaxon literally sitting on top of me staring out of the room, as if he was the watchman on the wall. It gave me a visual of how the angels must have been surrounding me just a few days earlier in the difficult situation. However, later that night, thinking I was well enough to take him for a walk, we barely made it down the driveway before he stopped walking and sat down. I tugged his leash to continue, but he moved a few feet and sat down again. “Hmmm, this is strange”, I thought. “Jaxon, come on… I want to get back in the bed.” We made it down to the curb before his little legs began to quiver. He circled nervously before squatting, as I discovered that he had diarrhea. “Oh no, does he have COVID”, I feared. I cleaned up the spot and hurried back inside.


Tired and dizzy, I googled COVID symptoms in pets and sure enough… I gave my dog COVID. He hadn’t eaten in days since I got sick, but when we returned, he drank water and assumed his usual spot on the foot of my bed. Within moments, I heard a strange gurgling sound and next thing I knew I was jumping up to clean up vomit.


In my haste, I tweaked my back, struggling to stand up straight and care for my sick pup. Great, just great!!! By the end of the night, he was in his crate with a towel and everything in my room was in the laundry as I slept on the bare mattress in pain from my back and exhausted from the commotion and continued COVID fatigue.


In that moment, I realized… getting COVID was the sneak attack. It was not the type of attack that I had been on high alert for. Even like Jaxon, standing guard while I was trying to recover, his sickness was another layer of attack that I had not anticipated as a possibility. Dang it!


But then this morning, during church I sensed in my spirit that although this was an attack on my health, today is also 9/11 the most significant sneak attack on our countries land. There is also a term that is often associated with this event - “Ground Zero”. It represents the empty space after the rubble of a traumatic and horrific event has been cleaned up, ready to rebuild something new and start over.


Oh, that hit my spirit so hard. God said, “As you get up today, praise me for all that I’ve brought you through, clean your house, clear your head, dump the last bit of rubble from your past and consider THIS day your emotional Ground Zero!” I felt significantly better almost instantly. I also changed how I saw my brief bout with COVID as more so a purge of the emotional sickness that has been infecting my spirit for more than half of my life, having been a major source of my anxiety.


While I’ll always remember and respect the tragic events and enormous losses of 9/11 in addition to the trauma and loss that COVID-19 has caused millions of families, I will also remember TODAY as the day God gave me a clean slate.


The mental and emotional bondage of my past trauma and toxic relationships have been conquered in the Name of Jesus!


Ya’ll it’s about to be on and poppin…


Until next time…

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