Say What?

It is 3:43am on 1/12/2022. I was awakened at 2:22am with a Word from the Lord. I grabbed my phone to document some notes so I wouldn’t forget anything when I woke up for real, but I was just told there would be no sleep until I write this post.
I have shut down social media and have been fasting since the start of the New Year. My prayer focus has been on the fruit of the spirit that many don’t like to discuss… “self-control”. However, yesterday I completed a bible study plan on that topic and asked God what to do next. I received the “spirit of infirmity”. I immediately started researching it and the first thing that I read is that there are 4 major gateways for that spirit to take host in individuals.
1. Direct demonic attack
2. Unforgiveness/bitterness
3. Abuse of the physical body
4. Gluttony & poor hygiene
Although some conditions are easily curable naturally or with medical intervention, most of the things that aren’t, are directly or indirectly related to this spirit.
Why is it relevant to me? Although I have never been sickly per se, I have often had chronic physical aches and pains and I am desperate to see a breakthrough in this area of my life. As I prayed about this, while currently under precautionary self-quarantine, God also brought to my attention that COVID is a spirit of infirmity on our land for all the same reasons listed above. Ouch! I continued to pray over how those two pieces of information are relevant to me right now.
God’s Response: Although there were periods in your life where almost all these gateways were an issue, you still have one major barrier to your healing. You’ve been praying for freedom and deliverance, here it is… and everything in your life will change once you do it!
4:06am: I, Kimberly J. James forgive the white race and God for the trauma, damage and effects of slavery and racism on my life and the lives of my ancestors, loved ones and community at large. Let me be clear. I don't believe God caused it, but He DID allow it, just like with the Israelites, so there have been times that I've questioned why and translated that to mean God must not love me/us. I know that God's intention is never to harm me and that His love is bigger than any negative experience or attitude of those that may still wish me harm or oppression. From this day forward it is their problem, not mine. I have laid it ALL at the cross! Bitterness and resentment cannot and will not reside in my heart any longer. I trust that God will hold all those who still have hatred in their hearts accountable for their thoughts, words, and actions. His grace is sufficient for me, and His justice often includes mercy, whether I like it or not. "I don't know why we were chosen to have this experience, but I do know why not and it's not because God isn't good!", said by Dr. Anita Phillips. My only responsibility is to demonstrate God’s love in the earth. Only love changes hearts!
I know all of this sounds completely crazy and I’m feeling a bit nauseous, but I promised to be as raw and authentic as possible on this journey and I promised to be the change that I want to see. As hard as it is, this is what that looks like. Forgiveness is for ME and Freedom isn't Free, but it's well worth it!
4:20am: There, I said it with no clue what’s next, but I pray that I can now get some sleep!
Until next time...
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