Freedom Ain't Free

When you hear the term “Freedom Ain’t Free” you usually think of it in the context of the military fighting for our country’s freedom or even the fight against inequality and racial injustice. It represents taking a stand for the greater good in doing the right thing. Well today this “Freedom Ain’t Free” message is about the cost in achieving spiritual freedom.

I don’t share this to appear to be Super Holy or Righteous in any way, but the reality is that staying in God’s perfect will to receive all that He has for me is a fight, which has come with suffering in many ways. I have been fasting since January 1st, 2022, so I am 28 days in and although I have done it before, this time has been very different. Let me explain. The first few days/weeks were about resisting my fleshly desires for the foods that I like to eat, such as meat, cookies, and pasta. However, two weeks ago, I was challenged to change my mind about what I THOUGHT this fast would accomplish (in the religious sense) and allow God to hijack the agenda. Immediately things started to change, and tests and challenges started pouring in.

Around the same time, I also watched a teaching on the power of fasting and prayer by Dr. Myles Monroe. In a nutshell, the biggest Ah ha moment was when he explained that fasting (resisting your flesh) is like God pouring some Holy Ghost Draino down your pipes so that your connection to God has a clear flow between your prayers and the instructions/insight that you receive back from God. Almost immediately, that became true for me and the downloads that I have received in the past two weeks have challenged me in many ways.

What do you do when you know that you know that God is telling you to say and do things that contradict the wishes, decisions and behaviors of loved ones, and colleagues? What do you do when you know that you’re being told to say things or set boundaries that will make others uncomfortable even to the point that it is likely to change or even lose those relationships? What do you do when you know that some decisions will make you lose things that you value for the sake of a promise that you have no idea the potential outcome? You pray your way through it, you do it anyway and you let the chips fall where they may!

My family lost a loved one a few weeks ago and because he had lifelong struggles in his perception of God (with valid earthly reasons) he did not want a funeral. He was to be cremated and we decided to have a family zoom to simply share some stories and connect in our shared grief, with no ministry representation in the group. However, three days before the memorial, God told me to give a eulogy. Besides the fact that I’ve never done anything like that before and by no means am I a minister, I had to share that I was going to do it and insist on it, even if it wasn’t going to be well received by others in my family. I mean who goes against someone’s dying wish? I DID, because God said so! The anticipation alone made me queasy, but I had a strong clear message from God that I had to share. Thankfully, it was well received and even complimented by many but the lesson that I learned in that was that if God tells you to do it, He will prepare the hearts of the listeners to receive it.

Next, I had family staying with me for the past 14 days, which I was really excited about after being alone for most of the past year because I was feeling rather lonely. God knew what my heart needed, but He also used it to teach me how to be obedient, even in an uncontrolled environment. See it would have been easier for me to fast when I didn’t need to keep the forbidden snacks in the house or cook regular meals for people who were not fasting with me. It would have been easier to sit in silence and pray regularly when others aren’t in the same room or in ear shot binge watching my favorite secular shows. It would have been easier to blame failing one part of my real estate exam on the noise distractions that accompanied my family trying to tame my obnoxious dog, while I struggled to concentrate on my virtual exam in the next room. It would have been easier not to get caught up in gossip, if I could have stayed off the phone with family, friends and colleagues that wanted to give me the blow by blow of what someone else did that upset or offended them that day. And in my darkest hour, it certainly would have been easier to ask others to pray for me, rather than to find the words to pray through my own tears when God showed me that those that I loved the most could be headed towards catastrophic consequences, but I had to stand down and honor their free will. BUT GOD… put me in a position to have to fight for my desire to walk in absolute obedience to Him over the desire not to offend others.

Just in the past few days, I found my voice and I have boldly delivered some hard messages that could likely alter important relationships, but I did it anyway and IT HURTS! I even had to fight with my dog to set some new rules and boundaries to the point of him biting me to resist the disciplinary changes and that pain summarized how I’ve felt in this spiritual battle over the past 28 days. At times I’ve felt like I couldn’t breathe. At times I’ve felt nauseous. At times I’ve been afraid that I got the message wrong, and at times I’ve been afraid that walking this path will leave me very lonely, but God continues to assure me that the cost of my obedience TODAY will not only bless those that I had to share some difficult things with, but that I will reap a harvest that is greater than I can ever imagine.

I’ve learned that there are no loopholes in being obedient to God, even in trying to bend the rules of fasting! I’ve learned that setting boundaries are both healthy for you and the other party, even if it’s a puppy! I’ve learned that being a parent to young adults means there is a fine line in being a friend and an advisor, but you must let them live with their own mistakes and decisions! I’ve learned that there is personal suffering in watching those that you love live with their own actions/decisions, but you’re only responsible for your own good or bad decisions! I’ve learned that you can’t trust everyone with the deep things of God and to be selective in who you share information with! I’ve learned that doing God’s will can be very unpopular, but you must trust His process! Last, I’ve learned that others cannot ride on your coattail of grace and vice versa, and that everyone must find their own relationship with God, whether it’s the easy way or the hard way!

THIS freedom that I am pursuing, it most certainly is NOT FREE but it is worth it!

The journey continues. Until next time…