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Do It Anyway...


Last night my oldest son put together a free show at school for his peers. During COVID lockdown he asked for a guitar to have something constructive to do while in isolation. For the past 2 years he has been pulling up YouTube tutorials and has taught himself enough to enjoy music at a whole new level. I’ve listened to him play around the house on holiday breaks, so I thought I knew what to expect. Then he said, “by the way… I’m gonna sing!” Wait, what?? In public?? I thought to myself.


So, I patiently waited to see for myself what he would do. It doesn’t sound like a big deal to most because you probably don’t know that I used to have a non-profit performing arts studio and I spent years, feverishly stressing over making public performances PERFECT! So yes, the recovering control freak in me wanted to ask a million questions to help him put on a stellar performance, but God continues to teach me to let things go and be content with life being perfectly imperfect!


He got up there despite any fear and just DID IT! He told the audience, “I don’t really sing, but I’m going to today so feel free to help me out and sing along.” He and his friends played a variety of popular songs, and they captivated the audience with their love for music but most of all the courage to “not care” that they weren’t a perfectly performing machine.


I sat there in amazement! He inspired me in more ways than I can describe. Then God used that moment to speak to me. He said, “this inspires you because it’s bringing back to your remembrance all the ways you inspired them as children”. My boys had a front row seat to the work I did at the studio, fighting to keep the doors open with barely any money to give children from all different ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds the chance to express themselves creatively.


I recall one day back then riding in the car upset because I didn’t know how I was going to keep the bills paid and get through the next event we had planned. Venues were booked, costumes were paid for with no budget for advertising and no tickets sold… There was always an obstacle to overcome, but on that day, Q looked at me from the backseat of my car and said, “Mommy, you can’t give up! If you give up, what will that mean for us?” He was 7 yrs old at the time.


Now I’m thinking, what if I had given up then? What if that program hadn’t been there at that season of their lives, where they learned to get on a stage and dance, etc.? How did all those things possibly impact the confidence that he has now to put himself out there and feel free to express himself! How would that have impacted Max when he got knocked down recently and had to fight his feelings of discouragement to allow God to create even better new opportunities for him?


The motto for the Dream in Color studio was, Why dance? Why play? Why Sing? … Because you’re spirit matters! I started that organization because as a child, dance gave my heart a voice when I couldn’t find the words to articulate what I was feeling, and I needed other kids to have that same opportunity.


Look at this now… full circle! What I thought was a failed venture back then that tricked me into giving up on my dreams, turned into this! I am using the words that God has been developing in my heart for years to be able to express myself in new ways and I’m still helping others do the same. Same mission, just different package. I got to see the desire of my heart back in 2005 manifested in my son on that stage last night and I couldn’t be more grateful. That means that my dream didn’t die, it just changed form. Oh ya’ll I’m shouting!!!


It showed me that in my old age I have allowed myself to become more limited in my thinking of what is possible. It made me realize that I have been taking my gift of words for granted, seeing it as a burden rather than an opportunity to enjoy the process of co-creating with God. It showed me that our children are always watching and learning and that seeds sown in past seasons will bear fruit for bad or for good so be intentional with the examples you are setting and never squash the dreams of a child or an adult for that matter!


Thank you God for showing me I've done some amazing things in my life, even when I didn't know what I was doing or the impact that it would have. Quentin is in this video.


What things have we stopped trying or enjoying because it seems scary or we’re not perfect at it? I’m so sick of it, y’all!!! We must do better so we can enjoy the life we have been given! Time to start living my best life! I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M SHARING THIS but… ironically a few weeks ago Max found this old video of me singing on a family vacation maybe 12 years ago. He shared it with me because he said this was one of his favorite memories as a moment that he remembered me being truly happy! I needed that reminder on that day but even more so now… life may be hard but it’s not all bad, so take some time to stop and smell the roses or what the heck… sing a song because God doesn't require perfection, He just wants us to keep trying!


DISCLAIMER: “I don’t really sing, but I am today so feel free to sing along! 😊”


P.S. Quentin and Maxwell, thanks for inspiring me everyday! Mommy loves you!


Until next time!


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